Like so many people, I began with humble beginnings, and my story is one that hopefully many of you can relate to. I suffer with extreme levels of anxiety, O.C.D, depression and addiction. I am sharing my story and the information I discovered along the way, to hopefully make a positive impact to at least 1 persons life…if not, just my own, as a therapeutic exercise to gather my thoughts. I sincerely hope you enjoy this glimpse into my life.
Many years ago (half my life now) I was in a serious motorbike accident, where a car hit me head on, my motorbike was destroyed and my legs took the brunt of the impact.
- I split my right femur in half, it splintered and fragmented.
- I smashed my hip.
- Destroyed both of my knees.
Half cyborg, half human..I am the proud owner of pins, rods, screws and even ligaments from donors to reconstruct my legs and knees. After around 18 months of laying in bed and several surgeries later, I emerged from my experience an overweight, depressed 18yr old.
During these vital years (16-18) in my life, I was bed bound, unable to go out and socialise and of course food…glorious food, became my escape. As Fat Bastard from Austin Powers would say…
Several years later and still feeling sorry for myself, I turned to partying and drinking, by this stage I had severe body dis-morphia, low self esteem and could only numb the pain with alcohol. My drinking got worse and worse, to the point where I was consuming 1 litre of vodka a day. Things escalated quickly, with zero muscle definition and a liver taking a pounding, it took a drunken flight to Las Vegas on my own to put a stop to this lifestyle and make a change!
Yes…one night in my hometown of Portsmouth, UK. I got so wasted that I booked a flight to Vegas and went straight from the nightclub to the airport for what can only be described as the inspiration to the film the hangover!
So this was me… May 2011, a boozy, overweight, fast food, binge eating, unhealthy man. Very little if any muscle definition, I literally spent zero time in the gym and no idea about diet or fitness..
After the insanely dramatic trip to Vegas! and a story that still shocks people at social occasions 😉 I decided enough is enough. I to sort my Sh*t out or i’m going to die!
Doing nothing by halves, I set a goal for myself…to enter a triathlon at the end of the year and got to work….cardio and weights twice a day, with not enough kcal and no rest days…for almost a year, the result…
So heading into 2012 I looked pretty lean (although at the time thought I was fat still)…and had replaced my alcohol addiction with another one…fitness, twice a day, every day training — at one stage I even had a sweat suit and would exercise for hours on a stationary bike. Food consumed me, every ounce, every gram, if it was not on my meal plan, I couldn’t eat it. My life was now fitness…it was everything to me and had taken over. I would spend hours reading books, online, in the library, trying to gain as much knowledge as I possibly could….and then…disaster struck, my knee gave out months from the triathlon, and I could no longer do cardio…I was devastated, but knew I wanted to keep exercising, and that’s when I found the new love of my life…bodybuilding.
I have spent the last few years working hard to give myself as much of a balance as I could, bearing in mind the problems I experience. I still have body dis-morphia, depression, O.C.D and anxiety, but now rather than fight it, I accept it. I still obsess over the little things, but try to be much more flexible in my approach. If I need to eat out or want a treat, I will make it work. And sometimes on those really bad days, I have the occasional binge, but I have learned to create a flexible dieting approach that allows me to eat delicious wholesome foods, pretty much without restriction.
Throughout my obsessing, the O.C.D, the hours and hours spent researching, I have developed what I believe to be the most effective diet and training program for my lifestyle, and that is the key to success.
The reason I am sharing my background with you and not holding anything back is to let you know that I have been there…I know what it feels like to be upset with the way you look, to feel anxious, depressed, to beat yourself up over the little things BUT I also know what it takes to get through that, to change your mindset, physique and happiness. THAT is what I want to help people with. Those that not only want to improve their physique, but want to feel better about themselves and proud of their body.
We must find a way that works for us, something we can adhere too, not something that destroys us and makes life miserable. I love to be challenged on things, have debates, and learn new ideas and methods that I can test. I follow science, not bro science, and will only write about something if I truly believe in it and have tried it for myself.
I train heavy! low volume, focused on progressive overload principles and eat a vegan diet; no dairy, no milk, no eggs, no meat, no fish.
Taste is not a good enough reason to justify the destruction of our planet, animal cruelty and the negative health impacts associated with live agriculture.
That’s me in a nutshell, if like me, you are on a quest to build your dream physique, but struggle with your own issues along the way, then join me on this journey, I want to build a gang of like minded people that enjoy food, train hard, support each other and get results.
Current pic 15th August 2016…bulking 😉
sitting around 200lbs, i’m cutting back a little, prob down to 186ish, then pushing up to 210-220 over xmas. Bulk starts mid October.